The Ladder I Never Planned to Climb: Finding Strength After Postpartum Depression with Alli Kushner

THE PROFESSIONAL WOMAN'S HIDDEN BATTLE

Before becoming a mom, I had always been driven. I thrived in high-pressure environments, tackled challenges head-on, and prided myself on being able to handle anything. I was ambitious, capable, and resilient. But PPD didn’t care. It literally robbed me of every ounce of confidence and drive I had built my career on.

Returning to work after maternity leave felt like a lifeline at first. It was familiar and measurable. It was the one place where I still knew how to operate. But behind the emails, the Zoom meetings, and the to-do lists, I was a ghost of myself. I’d log off for the day and crawl back into bed, without any desire to spend time with my daughter. I looked at her, and I just felt sad. I told myself I was fine because I was still performing, but in reality, I was barely surviving.

PPD didn’t care how competent I was. It basically laughed in my really puffy postpartum face…

Hard truth… PPD doesn’t care how much you love your job, how well you performed in school, or how much shit you get done. It is ruthless. Like Game of Thrones times a million ruthless.

FROM POSTPARTUM DEPRESSION TO PURPOSE

I fought ‘getting better’ every step of the way. But eventually I did seek and get help in the form of an intensive outpatient program for postpartum struggles.  Slowly, things got better.  I don’t think I ever fully “recovered,” but I definitely found a new, stronger version of myself. Anyone who tells you that “bouncing back” is a thing is completely full of the stuff that I find in my daughter’s diaper. We bounce forward.

I started to see that the qualities that once defined me, my problem-solving, my ability to build systems, my drive, weren’t gone. They were just a bit buried and in need of a new outlet.

I realized that the loneliness I felt wasn’t just a personal struggle; it was a systemic problem. So many new parents were drowning in isolation, pretending they were okay because that’s what we’ve been conditioned to do. I started to see that all parents are struggling in their own way.

That’s when I decided to pour my energy into building BeeKyn, a platform designed to connect parents in a meaningful way. Not just another app, but a tool to help people find their people.

MY JOURNEY FROM CORPORATE AMBITION TO MEANINGFUL IMPACT

I didn’t set out to be a founder. But motherhood forced me to rethink everything I thought I knew about myself including about my limits, my strengths, and what truly matters. The ambition I thought I had lost? It came back. It just wasn’t about climbing a corporate ladder. It was about building something that mattered and would make a difference.

I hope no one reading this is struggling. But, if you are, know you’re not alone. We are so used to measuring ourselves by productivity and achievement that when something like PPD (or any major life shift really) hits, it’s easy to feel like a failure. Like fall on your face on cement failure…

But it’s not. It’s an evolution. It’s a forced pause that demands we reassess, rebuild, and reimagine success.

For me, that meant stepping away from the version of myself that could push through anything and accepting that sometimes, asking for help is the most ambitious thing you can do.

I now write on LinkedIn about the struggles of working parents—especially moms—and maternal mental health. I hope that by sharing my experiences, others won’t feel as alone. I welcome you to join the conversation and connect with me there.

I’m definitely not happy I went through PPD. It truly sucked. But, I’m so happy that it has led me to where I am today and that in sharing my postpartum experiences I am able to connect with, and hopefully help, others.

Special thanks to Haley ONeill for collecting this list for HR/People roles. Make sure to connect or follow her on LinkedIn for all things recruiting.

P.S. I am not the recruiter for these roles. Please do you due diligence and click the link that is provided to learn more about each role.

🌷 SimplePractice, Director, Talent Acquisition: https://lnkd.in/esZkpxa9

🪻 Zendesk, Operations Manager, Employee Programs: https://lnkd.in/e4biij8G

🌷 Zillow, HR Manager: https://lnkd.in/euqJv5Fn

🪻 Shake Shack, Manager Talent Acquisition - Field: https://lnkd.in/eVt5QHT2

🌷 Anima, Head of People: https://lnkd.in/e6KZHAQJ

🪻 Vanta, Technical Recruiter, Security: https://lnkd.in/eBDNXE2w

🌷 Pinterest, Lead Sales Recruiter: https://lnkd.in/eem5_Nqz

🪻 Halcyon, People Operations Business Partner: https://lnkd.in/eykdA2q8

🌷 Ancestry, Senior People Partner: https://lnkd.in/evgeTbwV

🪻 Alma, Manager, Employee Engagement & Internal Communications: https://lnkd.in/evSnfWHP

🦓 Honor, Corporate Recruiter: https://lnkd.in/eMCvUu3i

🍧 eHealth, Inc., Talent Acquisition Program Manager: https://lnkd.in/ebkZtj2E

🦓 Crescendo, VP of Talent Acquisition (easy apply): https://lnkd.in/eEm5V2XD

🍧 WM, Talent Advisor - Digital: https://lnkd.in/efapunWz

🦓 Superhuman, Recruiting Operations Specialist: https://lnkd.in/eCYFeYhB

🍧 Cityblock Health, Sr Talent Acquisition Recruiter: https://lnkd.in/ex-sEbef

🦓 Real, Human Resources Business Partner: https://lnkd.in/eP7r_vWV

🍧 Zillow, Program Manager, Engagement & Belonging: https://lnkd.in/eDpzDyUj

🦓 Lumen Technologies, Sr Director Talent Acquisition: https://lnkd.in/etrJam4S

🍧 Norstella, Senior HR Business Partner: https://lnkd.in/eiZBusq4

TIP OF THE DAY: Keep going even when times may seem hard! I’m not going to tell you that it will get better, but I will say that things will begin shifting when you least expect it.