ADHD, Entrepreneurship & Motherhood: How You Can Turn Struggles into Strength

When I got a message from Lonni about sharing my story, my brain immediately went into overdrive! There are so many directions I can go with this. But one thing I know for sure is I’m not the only one on this journey. I hope someone out there reads this and feels less alone—because you’ve got an ally in me.

But first, a quick intro: I’m Ashley Dwyer, mom to an amazing 3.5-year-old daughter, founder of The Bellamy Co. (named after my little one), and someone who lives with ADHD.

Now that you know a bit about me, I need to admit something. Managing all these roles is … tough. Some days, it feels like one challenge after another. But after years in the military and helping startups grow from the ground up, I’ve learned something huge. Success isn’t about nailing some perfect work-life balance. It’s about harmony.

So, allow me to share my two cents on:

• My ADHD journey and how I manage it

• The wild ride of motherhood

• What it’s like building a business after becoming a mom while navigating ADHD

Buckle up! This is gonna be real, honest, and maybe exactly what you need to hear.

Breaking Up with Perfection & Discovering My Superpower

Lean into your dysfunction. It just might be your greatest superhuman skill.

For years, I tried to measure up to what I thought was expected of me. I kept chasing some invisible benchmark of success, checking all the imaginary boxes, and molding myself to fit what I assumed the world wanted. Spoiler alert: it was exhausting!

Then, one day, I broke up with societal expectations. Cold turkey. No farewell text, no lingering guilt, just a clean break. And suddenly, something incredible happened. I discovered hidden talents I never knew I had.

Imagine trying to measure a moving object that changes shape every time you attempt to measure it. That’s perfection. It doesn’t hold still, it doesn’t stay the same, and here’s the kicker, it doesn’t even exist. What one person calls perfect, another would call needs improvement. It’s a rigged game with a rulebook that makes you feel you are never enough.

When I finally threw out the measuring stick, stopped comparing, and let go of the mythical “enough” (as in I’m not enough, I’m not doing enough), I was free to define success on my terms. That’s when I realized my superpower. I bring order to chaos for other people.

But let’s rewind for a second. Before I got to this enlightened, chaos-wrangling stage, I had a moment. The kind that makes you rethink everything you’ve ever believed about yourself.

When I got my official ADHD diagnosis, it wasn’t exactly a shock. I mean, let’s be real, I had already built a thriving mental filing system based on sticky notes and pure adrenaline. What was surprising, was when the doctor casually mentioned that I also had a high IQ and EQ.

I laughed. Hard. Like, ugly-laughed-in-their-face hard.

Clearly, they had the wrong patient. Someone who struggled in school the way I did? Someone who constantly felt like they were playing catch-up in a system that never made sense? There was no way those scores were mine. Silly, really educated doctor.

But that moment was pivotal. It forced me to confront the story I had been telling myself for years. My struggles don’t mean I wasn’t smart, capable, or disciplined enough. My brain just worked differently. It was wired for pattern recognition, high-level problem-solving, and deep emotional insight. These are the things I have been using my entire life but never giving myself credit for.

So, when I finally stopped measuring myself by other people’s definitions of success, I realized my greatest strength wasn’t in trying to fit into the system. It was in breaking the mold and building something better.

Now, don’t ask me about the clean laundry pile hidden in my closet. Some forms of chaos are just part of the charm.

More to come on how I redefined success… stay tuned.

The Unexpected Gift That Changed Everything

With a brand new outlook on life and some trial and error of medication to help tame my brainstorm hurricane (aka ADHD-fueled chaos), I became a better version of myself. Suddenly, I was kicking ass and taking names in the business world in a way that felt effortless.

During a self-imposed, pandemic-aided break from work, a mental wellness startup approached me looking for help. Their mission to support people struggling with mental health immediately resonated with me, and I jumped on the opportunity. It felt like a homecoming, a chance to do meaningful work alongside a team I genuinely enjoyed. Life was good. I was happy. I was fulfilled. Everything was looking up.

Then came the surprise of my life.

I found out I was pregnant.

Not just surprised, shocked. I had been told I wasn’t able to conceive. In fact, I got pregnant the same week I was told it was impossible. Talk about timing.

For nine months, I was terrified to get excited. I was afraid to believe it was real, worried that if I let myself feel the joy, it would be taken away. But in a twist, I never saw coming, I had the easiest, smoothest pregnancy I’ve ever heard of. No sickness, no complications, just this little life growing inside of me, rewriting everything I thought I knew about my future.

For the second time in my late 30s, the first being when I learned I had a high IQ and EQ, my world completely shifted.

Enter, Bellamy.

I took six weeks off to soak up every moment of newborn life and the joys of motherhood. And let’s be real, there were some dark times in there too, like the time I discovered she had a dairy allergy when she projectile pooped down the wall from five feet away. It stained. The entire wall had to be repainted. I considered just calling it quits in the workforce and dedicating my days to this tiny human who had already flipped my world upside down.

That was when I got the phone call.

The CEO of the mental wellness company called to tell me their COO had left and that they wanted me to step in and replace him.

Now, I’ve been in leadership positions since my early 20s, but this? This was a job I hadn’t done before. My ADHD heart cannot resist a challenge. And let’s be honest, I once read a horoscope that told me my dream job was “the boss of bosses,” and I’ve never let astrology lie to me before.

So I looked at that beautiful little girl, kissed her chubby cheeks, and told her to get ready because we were about to ditch the cloth diapers and buy some disposables.

Momma’s going back to work.

From Chaos to Clarity: The Birth of The Bellamy Co.

That year was one of the most challenging of my life. New mom. New role. Who even was I anymore?

I was incredibly fortunate that the company I worked for valued my skills enough to ask me to step into the COO role without forcing me to choose between my career and my child. I led on Zoom, breastfed on Zoom (camera off, of course), and raised my baby with a tribe of mental wellness warriors dedicated to helping people heal, one childhood trauma at a time.

In the process, I learned so much about my team, my leadership, and myself. More than that, I shed the last remaining stories I had told myself about what success should look like. It was a business, yes, but it was also disguised as the most profound personal and professional development course I had ever taken.

I went in as a caterpillar and came out the other side as a butterfly, and my little baby was within arm’s reach the entire time.

But not all businesses make it. That’s the reality of startups.

The CEO’s husband passed away in a tragic accident, and just like that, my job shifted from growing the company to dismantling it, one team member, one subscription, one system at a time.

All of this happened while I was on the trip of a lifetime for my 40th birthday, traveling with my two-year-old daughter. I was approximately three-quarters of the way through the Camino de Santiago, a 500-mile pilgrimage from southern France to Santiago, Spain.

So by day, I walked.

By night, I worked.

And in between, I started asking myself, what’s next?

Throughout my travels, I met countless women, mothers who would say, “I wish I could do this” or “I wish I had a skill that allowed this kind of freedom.”

I started waking up in the middle of the night feeling called to solve that problem.

To give families a different kind of opportunity.

To show women they don’t have to spend their lives building someone else’s dream from 9 to 5, only seeing their children in the mornings, evenings, and weekends.

At the same time, I felt the weight of the changes impacting women’s rights in the U.S. I couldn’t shake the feeling that I needed to build something that would ensure my daughter had choices.

And that’s where The Bellamy Co. was born, in the middle of chaos, uncertainty, and a whole lot of love.

I built this company for her.

One day, she can run it, sit on the board, or sell it to fund her dreams.

There is no expectation, only the wish that she has the freedom to choose.

Our calling at The Bellamy Co. is to support women entrepreneurs so they can focus on growing their businesses instead of getting bogged down in the grind.

We believe that entrepreneurship should create freedom, not overwhelm.

That’s why we take the marketing and operational details off their plates, giving them the time and mental space to do what they love, scale their businesses, and build the lives they envision.

Because when women have the freedom to pursue their passions, they create a generational impact. And that’s the legacy we’re building, one entrepreneur at a time.

Your Next Steps: Be Brave. Define Success on Your Terms.

If there’s one thing I’ve learned, it’s this—the world doesn’t get to define success for you. That’s your job.

Be brave enough to break up with expectations that were never meant for you. Stop chasing someone else’s version of success and start building your own. Imagine what would happen if you stopped measuring yourself by standards that don’t fit and instead created your own system, your own rules, your own version of thriving.

Ditch Perfection. Embrace Harmony.

Perfection is a myth. Balance is a trap.

There is no perfect business, perfect timing, or perfect version of yourself waiting around the corner. And that so-called balance we’re all supposed to strive for? It’s an impossible equation that leaves you feeling like you’re constantly coming up short.

Instead, choose harmony.

Harmony means knowing that some days will be about work, and others will be about rest. Some seasons will be for growth, and others for reflection. Harmony is about aligning your time and energy with what actually matters, not what the world tells you should matter.

Discover Your Superpower and Lean Into It Aggressively

Every challenge, every detour, every so-called weakness holds a hidden superhuman strength. Maybe you bring order to chaos. Maybe you see patterns no one else does. Maybe you build, teach, create, or inspire in a way that only you can.

Identify it. Own it. Use it.

Lean into it fully, fearlessly, unapologetically.

Because when women step fully into their power, they don’t just build businesses—they build movements.

Ditch the chase for perfection. Let go of balance. Step into harmony.

And then? Go all in.